So I come in to work today, and I get my coffee, and I look over and see if Nancy is still there, and today she isn't.
She's on a table. She's kind of separated into two pieces, and there is a column of about 6 1x1 pieces taken out. What the fuck?
Now, it might have fallen off the shelf. The other portraits seem to be glued to some kind of stiff backing. Now, I remember, from my childhood, that there were some kids who would glue their legos together. You know, the kind of kids who might glue anything to anything, and they glue their lego to a barbie head, or to other lego.
Now, I'm all for kids gluing things to other things, but gluing lego is heresy -- a misuse of a great thing. Not just a misuse, but a misuse with a certain painful irony. Like Using a macbook for writing a screenplay, or using set-car!.
So I had affixed Nancy to a piece of cardboard, and held it all together with some large binder clips. Since the binder clips were on the bottom, it gave the whole thing a tendency to slip. So it might have slipped off. That's easier for me to believe than the other possibility, which is that someone came along and needed some 1x1 pieces and figured the easiest way would be to take them from the middle of one of the portraits.
I didn't restore the missing pieces -- let the crime show! But I pushed the two halves back together. And, MacGruber-style, I deftly scared up some rubber bands and cleverly wrapped them about the binder clips so they wouldn't slip again.
I went to put the thing back on the high shelf, and it just wouldn't quite fit. There was something in the way. There's some random lego junk up on that shelf, so I kind of pushed, and it turns out that there was some stupid 80-page marketing booklet up there, which, when moved, knocked a big chunk of lego off the shelf. A piece of some older project that had been stuffed up there. So that fell off and shattered all over the place.
Just as that happened, a whole bunch of Google Dudes were arriving, and one of them said, "heh, yer fired", and they all laughed and walked on. (Make no mistake, the nerd world has its own frat-boy stratum.) I ignored them. Another guy came in and, while talking on his cell phone, awkwardly picked up some pieces for me. That was nice.
I cleaned up and checked that Nancy wasn't going to slide again, and that was my breakfast!