Monday, December 15, 2008

I love Klaatu

I saw The Day The Earth Stood Still and was quite pleasantly surprised. I loved it. I love Klaatu. Only Keanu could play Klaatu.

I bought the tickets online, and the site then sent me a link to some reviews. The reviews bothered me, so I posted my own review:

This movie was just wonderful. I found myself desperately wishing Klaatu was really on his way. This story couldn't be more relevant, and no one could possibly have played Klaatu other than Keanu.

I'm saddened to see a lot of reviewers here who didn't like the movie because it had too much Environmentalism and not enough Bone-Headed Action-Adventure Stupidity. This movie is thrilling and terrifying, if you just pay attention to the story, and to what the story is a metaphor for.

Maybe you weren't able to really enjoy the movie because you're running low on American Exceptionalism Vitamin. Unacceptable! Print out this handy cheat-sheet and bring it with you to the theater the next time you see a movie that you suspect might not satisfy:

Get on the horn! The president is waiting! Scramble the jets! Put your hands in the air! Put down the gun! Get a life! Bring it on! Over my dead body! Won't get fooled again! Cold dead hands! I'll be back! I'll be back, Bennett! That's no moon! This is Sparta! Say hello to my little friend! Resistance is futile! They'll never take our freedom! Yippie Ki Yea Mother Fucker! Steers and Queers! Do ya, punk? Get away from her, you bitch! I'll tell you about my mother! Get off my plane! I am your father! Hasta la vista! I am the law! There are always two deaths! Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn! Shaken, not stirred! This is my rifle, this is my gun, this is for fighting, this is for fun! You're an errand boy! I make this look good! Fly, you fools! It's sex with someone I love! Life is like a box of chocolates! Elaine! Red Rain! Ma, I love him awful! You wouldn't like me when I'm angry!

Sadly, there was a 750-character limit, which I didn't find out until I tried to post it. (I should have been tipped off by the insistent message "minimum length reached", perhaps.) And they they detected the "profanity", although I think they were referring to the potty-language, so I had to work around that. AND it gets reviewed first, so I'm thinking they might not actually put it up there.


P said...

I loved The day the earth stood still (2008) - the reviews were all wrong.
You are right - Keanu makes for the perfect Klaatu

P said...

Klaatu rocks

Gregory Michael Travis said...

Please, Klaatu, where are you???